Madeleine L’Engle on Self and Being

“The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.”

Madeleine L’Engle, an American writer who wrote young adult fiction, including A Wrinkle in Time and its sequels, put forth a wonderful reflection on self and being in her book, Glimpses of Grace. Below is an abbreviated portion that I think is particularly worth sharing.

I haven’t defined a self, nor do I want to. A self is not something static, tied up in a pretty parcel and handed to the child, finished and complete. A self is always becoming. Being does mean becoming, but we run so fast that it is only when we seem to stop–as sitting on the rock at the brook–that we are aware of our own isness, of being. But certainly that is not static; for this awareness of being is always a way of moving from the selfish self–the self-image–and towards the real.

Who am I, then? And who are you?

My personal reflection and tangent on these words is this. The only constant is change, that our being is always in a state of transition–from who we were yesterday to who we can be tomorrow, and all the ripples in between. And in the rapid pace of life in this century we do not notice this change. Often we go years, going through the same routines, living, focused on what is outside us, until at last we arrive at one of those incredible moments where we truly stop and look ourselves in the eye–and see. Only by stopping and reflecting can we see clearly who we were, who we are, and who we are on the road to becoming. And that is essential. One of the best things we can do is to sit down and decide what will give our lives the most meaning and the most value. It is what we become that determines, to a large degree, our happiness and our contentment with the lives we live. And since we are in a constant state of change, we must be vigilant, aware, pausing every so often to look at the ground and see where our feet are going. But even then, as we pause, we are changing. Even fossils, frozen seemingly forever in time, change as the ages pass. We, so transient, change by magnitudes each day, whether we like it or not. So we must change deliberately, with intent, rather than letting ourselves be changed by the ebbs and flows of life. So that one day we will arrive at a state of being that we can be proud of. Not by accident, but by design.

Stop, and listen. In becoming aware of ourselves, of our true being, we let go of our illusions and connect with the real. Who am I? Who are you? That depends on each passing day. And the answer will always be different, for no day sees us the same as we were before–nor ever will.