“Remember yourself, always and everywhere. “ 

G. I. Gurdjieff

Have you ever felt lost? Have you ever found yourself stopping, in the middle of everything, and wondering what the hell you’re going to do? I certainly have. We’ve all felt it. That wall of despair. That feeling deep inside, as if there’s someone sitting on your chest, crushing your heart.

The death of someone you love. The loss of a dream. A grim diagnosis. A knock on the door. A shattering of your world. An obstacle you cannot see yourself overcoming.

It may look like there’s no way forward, for all we can see is darkness and every choice bears agonizing weight. Life tests us, and sometimes, life breaks us.

For better and for worse, that is part of being human.

But here’s another part: your personal history, your story.

The past is no place to dwell in, but it is a place to learn from. And when you can see nothing ahead of you but pain, it may be time to look behind you — to who you were, to what you did, to why you did it. Most of all, if you’re trying to do something hard, something impossible, you should remind yourself why you do what you do.

At times it is easy to forget what brought you to where you are. In the thick of life, in our darkest times, we can lose sight of our reasons, the heart of hearts of what inspired us to act. All too often, the temptation to give up wins, not for lack of strength, but for lack of self-awareness.

The same applies to when we lose someone we love. Do we let the pain obliterate our future? Or do we look back on memories shared, heartwarming moments, and in them see that living on, even if it’s hard, is worth it — if not for ourselves, then for that loved one who’d want you to keep living. Because one of the best tributes we can make to those we’ve lost along the way is to live a good life. Living well is a tribute to the dead.

Love is, as Mitch Albom said, how you stay alive, even after you are gone.

I know it’s hard. I know it’s unfair. Life doesn’t play easy games, and it is not in the business of fair. But it’s worth it to keep going. Refuse to lose, because defeat, in many cases, is a choice.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re going through, remember the good things in your life, remember the ideas that inspired you, remember the dreams that carried you, remember the people that touched you, and remember the love that healed you.

There is still a way.