“One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”
John Green
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The elderly woman, well into her eighties, knew her life was ending. She could hardly breathe on her own, and any exertion spiraled her into severe respiratory distress. Lung cancer, among other things. We responded to her on a blistering hot afternoon, and with us she left her home for what might be the last time. I will never forget what she told me when we entered the emergency department.
“I was born here.”
Born in that hospital, and now, at the end of her life, here she was. Full circle. A blink of an eye ago she was young, and in the blink of an eye, her time in this world was coming to an end.
The same goes for me, and the same goes for you.
If you’re waiting for someday to change your future, you might end up waiting forever. Many people do, and wonder where they went wrong even though it is painfully obvious.
It’s easy to think about the future. It’s harder to create the future today.
Everyone wants to change something about their lives, but not everyone will actually make that change, and if you’re like me, there are plenty of changes you told yourself you’d make someday and yet have never made despite having years and years to do so. We can spend our whole lives like this, saying and never doing, wishing and never creating, hoping and never having.
The dreams I had in high school, the things I wished I could do, so many of them never happened, not because they were impossible, but because I put them off, I did not try, I did no believe. I put it off one day, and another, and another, and soon the days had turned to years, and my youth slipping away with them. And yet, despite the pain of that lesson, I still catch myself saying those words:
“Someday . . . Eventually . . . Maybe . . .”
And as I watch my family age, and realize that soon the Autumn of life will come, I feel like a fool for waiting, for thinking I could just let it slide, pick it up later, make up for lost time. No. Time is lost, period. There is no making up. We have, and always shall have, all the time there is.
You need to get this one thing straight if you want to turn your life around: someday never comes no matter how badly you want it to. The only time you can change your destiny is now, today, this moment.
I know now might not seem opportune. It’s not the right time, there’s too much of X, Y, or Z going on, you’re too busy, things are too uncertain. I get that. But life will always be like that to some degree. The difference is in what you do, not what you say you’re going to do.
You can keep telling yourself you’ll change someday, or you can choose to change today, even if it’s only in a small, seemingly insignificant way.
That’s the key. You do not have to make a massive change, only a small one, every day, to change your destiny. Take the big, intimidating nature out of your dream, and break it down into the smallest, easiest step. Ask yourself right now, what can you do today that will bring you a little closer to that thing you’ve been wanting for so long? Name it. Peg it down. Write it out. And then, do it. Even if it hurts, do it.
The thing is we don’t have much time. Life is short, years fly by, and it’s effortless to fall into inertia and let your dreams wilt and die while you are tied up by everything you think you need to do. So much of what we spend a huge chunk of our lives on is outright silly, akin to tossing time away. You would balk at someone tossing hundred dollar bills into a campfire, yet who balks the same way at someone wasting time?
As Seneca said, while we wait for life, life passes.
Not too long ago you were born into this world.
Not too long you were a child, growing fast.
Not too long ago, you were your younger self, looking forward to where you are today.
Now you are you, and soon, who you are now will be what you’re looking back on in your older age.
And soon enough, you will wake up on your final morning, you will see your last sunrise, your last sunset, laugh your last laugh, shed your last tear, speak your last word, and breathe your final breath. Life is full of firsts . . . and it is also full of lasts. When those lasts come, will you have lived the life you wanted? Will you have created something you are proud of? Will the world be better because you were here?
All of that starts, or ends, today. It’s easy to not start. But it is also just as easy to begin:
- Decide what you really want. What you want. By yourself, in solitude, think about it, get down to brass tacks with yourself and be honest.
- Write it down. Putting your dream on paper means you’re taking it seriously. It begins the process of change.
- Choose one action you can take today to making it real. What is the smallest, easiest step towards that goal, no matter how big it is?
- For every today you live, take another step. You’ll be glad you did.
Everything you have done, everything you have thought, said, and believed. Every event. Every loss. Every hurt. Every joy. All of it has brought you to this moment. What will you do with it?
Someday, you will look back on this stage of your life. Whether you feel gratitude or regret is up to you.
Will today be the day you start? Or will it be another day spent lying to yourself that you have time to put it off? Today can be the day that changes everything for you. It can be the day you decided to live now, not later, the day that shaped your destiny, the day that made all the difference.
The only time you can change your destiny is now.
How you spend your days is how you spend your life, and how you spend your life is everything.
(Article originally published on Mind Cafe)